I've Never Been So Jealous Of A Bug!

[The Gotham Gazette]

B R E A K I N G N E W S !

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There have been several news reports submitted by several vigilant citizens of New York City that Spiderman is a creep. Well, either he's a creep or he's got a thing goin' with the hottest thing in SHIELD. Danii "Lady Liberty" Washington! Oh Spider, you lucky bug. Danii has been rumored to have had a long term relationship with Captain America so says our source the Sergeant.

"The two were so in love. Then she got stupid and went off with some dumb son of a bitch--" We'll stop there!

But that's not all! Recently there were tales of her running off to Vegas with none other than Mercenary, Deadpool! Isn't there something going on with his face? At any rate, I'm sure if I gave Danii flowers I hope she'd at least let me kiss her on the mouth. But she isn't the only one in boiling hot water! It's rumored that Spidey has his favorite girl and it isn't the blonde bombshell running around SHIELD. We'd list who they are but since they're not important like the guys Danii has bedded-- sorry ladies. I'm sure you're great.

But what started it all? Neighbors flooded our phone lines with reports of Spiderman spying on Danii and then the blonde not doing anything about it! That doesn't seem like wife material to me, Wilson.

"He was just hanging there! He dropped down on that gross webbing of his and just watched her for hours! I swear that boy had sticky hands before Danii got to him!" Declared an older woman named Matilda.

Well that just blows our minds here at the Gotham Gazette! If we knew all it took was dressing up as an insect so that we could get a little show, then we would have been right over! How could ya do this to us Lady Liberty???[/center]