Fancy Meeting You Here (Danni)

[Wade "Deadpool" Wilson]

It was quite the quiet day on the helicarrier; the sun was high within the mortal sky, winds not particularly high, things in as close to "peaceful" as they'd ever be. Which would probably explain the moving fern plant, making it's way through the decks while a crazy man in red crouched behind the pot, certain he was a camouflage genius. While there had been low expectation of Canadian stow always on the ship, few people probably would have raised a question or two - in fact, seeing Deadpool most crew would likely duck out the way before he had a chance to start talking.

That mouth. Good God, it never, ever stopped. Ever. It was like a nuclear powered motor.

That was besides the point for now, though - this was a story involving a traveling fern and it's companion hidden in the sneaking sniper position. Mask pulled up over his face, Wade was headed for the barracks, because he knew that there was a certain someone who would have missed him. No, Nick Fury; ole wigglepuss wasn't willing to audibly and public ally display his love for Wilson. Come to think of it, he didn't like to do it alone with Wade, either, but the merc liked to imagine it was the sort of talk Nick liked to have with his mirror. Who DIDN'T want to chat about Wilson to their reflection?

"So, let's just get this straight, you've been running around Iraq, blowing up terrorists, when you've actually been in Canada, running for PM, then appeared at every Superbowl game on camera eating cheesey nachos while waving a sign that reads "we want ice hockey", and you think bombshell won't notice?"

"Yeah, I gotta agree with yellow 'talics, this isn't exactly your best plan, big guy, though I dunno why we comment, since we see to be the only thought process you display in any comic."

[/I]

"Because you're both an important part of my comedic appeal, and frankly if you didn't exist, we wouldn't be getting the necessary butts in seats and coins in tills. Marvel wouldn't print me without you, now stop yapping and give me plans."

Ever the crazy bastard was that Wade Wilson, talking to the voices in his head like they were real people, able to advise him on his quests while the world looked at him in a rather peculiar facial expression. Something like "this motherfucker be full of the cray", though not always quite as ghetto. Sometimes it was more of an overly posh Englishman.

The barracks were finally dawning on him, coming into view, exposing themselves like a cheap slut in a bad neighbourhood. He could see the small signs on the door, each with names printed on them, and in seeing that, he had no choice but to make his first stop. The name "Barton" brazenly printed in bold, Wade sat the fern down next to the door, before rummaging through his front pack. It seemed endless, but finally he had it - a small, current generating device. It wasn't fatal on it's own, but once applied to metal, it put a taser like current through. Which was why he shoved it up against the door handle.

Stage one complete, Wade once again grasped the fern, moving back down the doors. It we would take a while, since the rooms were allocated by surname, but eventually, he got there. Placing the plant before the door, Wade stood up, pressing his back to the wall and planting up like a mission impossible scene - knocking firmly on the door three times.[/center][/blockquote]

[Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington]

[style=padding: 0px 10px;]She was having a bad day, oh yeah, definitely. Well bad week actually, because she had found out at the end of last week. Well, it wasn't so bad, it could have been worse she supposed, except for the whole level of painfully unexpected and not being prepared and what was she going to do about her job? Oh God she was going to start panicking again, deep breath Danii, deep breath, you had always wanted a little devil child of your own after all, some cute little baby all small and adorable that she could cuddle and lavish with love and attention and spoil rotten.

Except for the fact that the blonde always figured it would be a planned thing, after getting married and with enough time to let Fury know ahead of time so he could adjust any missions accordingly and find her something else to do while she was......Danii realized she hadn't said it yet. She hadn't told anyone yet, figured it would probably be best to talk to Wade first because it was his too. But apparently that damned idiot had shoved his phone up his ass and decided to go on an adventure to Canada, then the superbowl, and she just wanted to kill him right now.

Good Lord she hadn't gotten used to those mood swings yet, that's what had been the first clue, the second was all the puking and Danii had to go get checked out, because she never puked, her healing ability tended to take care of everything. And then the doctor told her the news and Danii had been in a mild state of panic, followed by murderous intent because she couldn't get a hold of her boyfriend followed by more panic because what the hell was she going to do about her job? Her quarters on the Helicarrier was kept pitch black as she paced back and forth, no need to keep a light on when no one else was there to see anything, pacing and thinking and pacing some more when someone knocked on her door and she almost jumped at the sound.

Slipping her goggled on, Danii turned the light on as a curtsey to whoever was out there before opening the door and oh thank God it was just the person she wanted to see. Except that now she had a mild moment of dread welling in the pit of her stomach, what if he didn't want a baby? Danii didn't want to have to throw him of the Helicarrier today, and what the hell was with the plant? Whatever, she pulled him into the room and shut the door quickly, "Wade! I've been trying to get a hold of you all week! I have....news," The blonde couldn't tell if he would find it to be good news or bad news, and she was starting to stutter, thinking maybe she just shouldn't tell him at all. But she couldn't do that, so instead she blurted out a moment later, "I'm pregnant," Sure that she had interrupted whatever he was saying, though Danii hadn't been listening to him, instead just staring at him from behind the goggles with a measure of deep worry and dread.

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Tag: Blue!
Words: 554
Music:Crave You - Flight Facilities
Notes: legasp*

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[Wade "Deadpool" Wilson]

[Centre] [block quote]"Deadpool's Travelling Fern Show", he could see it now; Saturday morning television would be forever changed, children lining up to watch their favourite crimson crusader hide behind an odd and ineffective choice of shrub, inching his way through the streets, paying no mind to the many odd looks and stares he received. It would inspire laughter, encourage comedy awards even! And then, the kids would know the sketch had come to a close, when the target had been firmly garroted and then sold to the client at an upped cost - he had to pay for the camera crew somehow.

So maybe he hadn't worked out all the kinks for the child demographic, or even the "eligible for broadcast", but all the greats had to start somewhere. The first Superbowl was just a bunch of guys hawking around boiled eggs trying to run across a field without getting knocked down, and in the beginning, the Teletubbies were just a bunch of high guys with a weird thing for vacuum cleaners. This had potensh! He'd be rich! They'd make millions! Them being Danii, himself, and the man made of melon they would subsequently adopt. Hey, rich people bought weird ass things, man. Deal with it.

Speaking of Danii, she had answered the door, and before he even had a chance to speak or present her with the supposed Iraq based gifts - ginger and sand - he was yanked into the room. She looked nervous, or upset. There was only one way out of this situation - he was going to have to lie his ass off. Hard. Harder than hard, this was going to have to be Oscar worthy; something the academy would award. THIS, would have to be his Schindler's List. And he, would be Liam Spielberg.

"Babe, you don't have to worry, everything is totally fine; I was out in Iraq, shooting bad guys and nailing terrorists, cause I know how big you are on FOR AMERICA and all that crazy stuff! Anyway, I'm home from my first tour, but I brought you these - oh God you already know don't you? I didn't mean it, Danii, I swear, but see it wasn't my fault, it was Nick Fury's and - wait what?"

There wasn't much that could stun the rambling merc and make him stop talking. There was the death of Golden Girls star, Bea Arthur, there was the news his favourite chimichanga place had been destroyed, yet no national enquiry was going through, and there was putting on an adult film that caught his eye. Oh, and the information his girlfriend was having his kid. That seemed to have a lot of stop value.

He stood for a moment, regularly opening his mouth and shiggling his fingers, trying to find words, before closing his mouth, fisting his hand, and then pacing for a while. In all fairness, a few minutes like this with Wade was astounding - the rumours of his inability to shut up had been grossly exaggerated.

Still, this was quite the turn of events - he might have to actually complete a few contracts on a regular basis; what the hell was that even about?

"IIIIIIII got nothing, I'm a dad? When the hell did the writers decide on that?"

(A few weeks ago.)

"You shut your filthy whore mouth, Blue, I didn't ask for your opinion."

[/center][/blockquote]

[Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington]

[style=padding: 0px 10px;]He had stopped talking. Complete silence. Complete and total silence out of Deadpool of all people, the way that his mouth kept opening and closing like a fish out of water would have been comical if Danii hadn't found it rather scary, just because she was afraid of how he was going to take the news. So far it didn't seem to be going well, Wade Wilson was infamous for his mouth, the man talked in his sleep every now and then, he talked while he ate, he talked while he brushed his teeth for God's sake.

Her brows furrowed deeper in worry as he started to pace, afraid to say anything else, actually just afraid in general at this point so she stood back, wringing her hands together and all but chewing on her lip. When he finally spoke though, it was of course to say something that Danii couldn't figure out, "Wade......what?" She was getting a headache, and with a sigh Danii sat on the edge of her bed, putting her head in her hands, "Never mind, I.....yeah, you're gonna be a dad," There was about six hundred and thirty two different ways this could possibly go wrong, and those were just the ones she had thought of so far.

Rubbing her temples with a level of exasperation she looked up at him from where she sat, "I don't know what to do here Wade, we're not married, your a little insane, I'm a SHIELD agent, this is unexpected.........my dad is going to kill us both," She turned an interesting shade of pale at the thought, Danii hadn't thought of her dad up until then, the man hated her boyfriend enough as it was, oh god this just kept getting worse. Hugging her arms around herself Danii had to remind herself again to just breath and not panic, "What are we gonna do?" We because it was his too.

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Tag: Blue!
Words: 333
Music:Crave You - Flight Facilities
Notes: short post is short

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[Wade "Deadpool" Wilson]

This was all very, very strange. Wade had never wanted yo be a dad before - it wasn't because he couldn't be, or even that he didn't like kids, they were the only real innocence in the universe. They were the only thing he couldn't execute - well, unless they were zombies, but that situation was entirely different. Still, this was a strange notion. Wade hated himself, more than most people did - for one, they didn't have to live with him. Except Danii, obviously, what the hell did she see in him, anyway?

No, now wasn't the time to get misdirected; daddy Wade Wilson. He stepped back and leaned against a wall for a while, just...thinking. He had always imagined the kid as just an extension of himself, but it wasn't that simple anymore. He wasn't single, he was with someone he actually gave a damn about - who, by the looks of things, was becoming increasingly worried. Crap. He wasn't thinking about himself anymore. This was getting really weird for him, now. He had to do something about it now - so, sidling up beside her, Wade took a seat and wrapped an arm around Danii, sighing.

"First of all, I'm a lot insane, let's not confuse those facts..."

He had looked at her, very direct, and he had a pretty genuine smile - holy shit...was he...comforting her?! What in the blue hell was going on, exactly? Christ, his Canadian was showing, along with his sense of normal and morality. He was going to have a very serious talk with himself in the mirror after this was all said and done.

"Second...we're just gonna have to...ride it out, I guess. I'll try and get a few more shifts at work...I guess we'll need to get an apartment or something, think Squirrel Girl will babysit? She hates my guts, but she seems to be pretty good with kids. She took good care of Spider-knock-off-of-awesome-Deadpool-man's spruggit when he was out riding missiles. I wish that was a euphemism. Seriously. As for your dad, well, he would have tried to kill me anyway, at least he has a reason now. Can we have it in Canada just to piss him off?"

He gave her a little shake in attempts to relax her - things were gonna be alright after all, right? Things always worked out okay in the end when a kid was involved in the movies, and this was kinda like a movie. For one, it was being scripted by a team of severely underpaid and underappreciated writers.

"Boy or girl?

[/blockquote]

[Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington]

[style=padding: 0px 10px;]The blonde let out the most painfully dry sounding chuckle that she had probably ever made up until that point, in fact it kind of sounded more like a strangled whine then anything else. Her face in her hands all she could really do was shake her head before tilting her head up to look at him wearily, another strangled chuckle leaving her, "Excuse me, a lot insane," At least he didn't look like he was going to run off screaming down the hall and jump of the helicarrier sans parachute, not to be seen or heard of again until someone found him in the woods living with a bear sporting a crazy beard.

Yes Danii had been attempting to play this conversation out just about every possible way that she could think of since she found out the news, that last idea seemed like a very strong possibility actually. But she hadn't seen it going quite like this, or at least the blonde hadn't pictured the man smiling, well maybe not a genuinely happily looking one, more like hat smile folks had right before they jumped off a building. Listening to him, well he seemed to have taken the news better then she had when she was first told, again not something that the woman had been expecting.

She was so blindsided by his sudden level of calm in fact that her face was pretty blank with surprise, mouth falling just the slightest bit open as she watched him from behind her dark goggles, "Wait......you aren't gonna go run off screaming into the woods to grow a ZZ Top beard and live with a bear?" Yes she was still pretty much stuck there of all places, it seemed to make more sense then calm and thoughtful Wade, "I....I have no idea what the hell your talking about with the 'knockoff spruggit' so you know, but I've been looking into baby proofing my apartment, need to do something about the giant windows,"

Big giant windows that needed some sort of rail or something, "We are not having a baby in Canada," Danii deadpanned quickly, wanting to put a stop to that idea as soon as she possibly could. No way, if she was having a kid, then that baby was going to have to be as all American as she was, the name was Lady Liberty after all, not Lady Maple. At least his calm seemed to be rubbing off on her a bit, she found herself relaxing against him with a deep sigh. He was right, they were going to have to just ride this out, knowing that he wasn't completely adverse to the idea though helped sooth her frazzled nerves.

"I'm gonna have to talk to Fury about desk work for a while," Desk work, the bane of her existence normally, but she didn't want to take any chances that something would go wrong on a mission. Fury was going to shit a brick when she told him, the thought caused her to groan and she dropped her head on Wade's shoulder, oh she was looking forward to that, "Don't know yet, right now it's just a little bean," At least that was the first thing that had crossed her mind at the ultrasound, a little Wilson bean, "I kinda hope it's a boy," She had always wanted a boy, "We're gonna need to think up some names ya know, put together a nursery.....tell everyone else," Danii could see the reactions now. If people thought she was crazy before for having dated Wade Wilson, she could only imagine the reaction to this news.

[style=padding: 0px 10px; font-size: smaller;]
Tag: Blue!
Words: 627
Music:Crave You - Flight Facilities
Notes: Wilson Bean!

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[Wade "Deadpool" Wilson]

"...And ruin my retirement plans? Are you crazy?! I can't waste THAT on a kid; I mean, I know I'm nuts, but to give up my retirement plan on a petty mental breakdown? C'mon, Danii, get it togethe-did you say names?"

Names, names, names...but where did he begin? There was so many names! And he liked a ton of them; as she was about to find out. Not that there was a particular order to them - Wade didn't like to start at A and work his way to Z; the alphabet is for suckers, and Wilson ain't no sucker. No, he's a winner. Winner, not weiner. And, as a winner, it was his job to make his shit up and see what happened - usually, he'd stick by it and claim it to be creative license, because it was just the most realistic answer he could ever pull out.

"Hank. Bradon. Hulk. Jackson. Dwayne. Anastasia. Pocahontas. Sahara. Ursula. TJ. Squigglethrop. Abraham. Oksana. Esmerelda? Antonio! Joseeee~ Joselina! Mila. Miloooooooooooo! Tessa? Lisa? Steven. Cactus Jack, Hunter, Ivory, Madonna, Dwayne The Rock Johnstone...I think I'm missing one. Or two. Leave it with me, it'll come to me."

He stopped sharply, before eyeing her - did she just say "No Canada"? Now, he couldn't stand for that, could our maple leaf warrior. No - Canada was where it was at; where the flag through free and the bullies did your homework. Where evil knew no malice and malice was a threat of shaking your hand a little too firmly, eh? Funny to think he, Wolverine, Sabretooth, Wild Child and several other extreme miscreants had spawned there. Marvel really weren't fans of a neutral Canada back in the day.

"And what's wrong with Canada, exactly? Nothin', that's what! Well. Nothin' but Ottowa. The kid's middle name is gonna be "Ottawa Sucks", and I'm banning 'Jack' and 'Wanda' right now - Jack was my dad, and Wanda's a spooky imposter bitch. I've no time for spooky imposter bitches, only the cool bitches with .44 Magnum's and a pouted lip that could cut steel..."

Shambly rambolic seemed appropriate. As he gave her a firm hug, he nodded, lightly rubbing Danii's arm up and down as he thought for a brief moment. Work and money were going to become important - hell, he might even have to up his game, and finish a few hits the way the client requested. Where was the fun in that? But, it was for a good cause, and all.

"I can probably pick up a few more contracts, maybe see about getting the band back together for money's sake. Charlie'll be excited, I bet. I sometimes catch him trying to keep tabs on me."

[/blockquote]

[Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington]

[style=padding: 0px 10px;]Danii gave him a tired look, though it was probably lost on him save for the way that her brows furrowed thanks to the dark goggles covering her eyes. Well at least he was taking this much better then she had expected, which Danii supposed she should be thanking the heavens for, the woman really had been preparing for the worst in this conversation. Granted it probably helped that she wasn't really paying that much attention to his babbling, having learned how to tune that out a while ago. Its amazing really, but if she hadn't managed that, then she probably wouldn't have been in the position that she was in now, because they would have never started dating in the first place.

She was having trouble keeping up with the sudden word vomit, Wade had apparently gone into hyper talk mode, spewing out names and names, and a few more names and Danii really couldn't even keep up. The blonde was getting dizzy just trying to process it all, though all she caught was snatches of names here and there, "We are not naming the kid 'Dwayne the Rock Johnsen' Wade," That one she had caught, and deadpanned fully at because.....just no. Danii didn't think she needed to explain why she was turning that one down.

"How about something that isn't so........out there?" She was sure this poor baby was going to have more then enough issues growing up as it was without adding a ridiculous name to the mix, "I'll make you a deal, I pick the first and you can pick the middle, anything you want," That should be a good compromise, though Danii was sure that anything was probably going to be a bit too broad, "Almost anything," There, that sounded better, because the blonde really couldn't even begin to think what the man could possibly come up with, "How about.......Adelina for a girl?" She really liked that name, "Or Devin or Benjamin for a boy?" Honestly the blonde like Benjamin more.

"Who's Wanda?" Aside from spooky imposter bitch, because she didn't know what the hell he was talking about again, not that there was something new there, but he seemed to have taken a real offense to whoever this Wanda was, "And we've been over what's wrong with Canada, they ruined bacon," Among other things, that was really her biggest upset though, leave it to Canadians to ruin bacon, "Annnnd its Lady Liberty, not Madam Maple Leaf," She was always going to be an all American girl at heart.

Leaning a bit more against him Danii sighed, emotions finally subsiding from something less apprehensive to something more excited. After all the woman really had always wanted a baby and now she was going to be having one, a cute little kiddo of her own, "Well, with the diner idea that me and Cap' have been coming up with, that'll be some more money right there, I'm sure we're gonna be alright financially," Leaning her head on his shoulder she looked up at him from behind the goggles, "Are you sure you're alright with this? Cause this........this is gonna be a whole knew adventure of crazy,"

[style=padding: 0px 10px; font-size: smaller;]
Tag: Blue!
Words: 552
Music:Crave You - Flight Facilities
Notes: Wilson Bean!

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