Welcome
It all started when a crystal dropped into existence, punched a hole in time and space and landed into the lap of one the most insane men to ever walk the Earth.
At first, the clown didn't know what he had been gifted with, stuck in his cell in Arkham, staring at the reddish purple crystal laying innocently on the dirty stone floor.
And then the voices started, telling him of another universe, talking of power and chaos beyond what he could have ever dreamed.
census
Heroes
Villains
SHIELD
Avengers
Justice League
X-Men
Brotherhood
Mutants
Anti-Heroes
Civilians
Neutral
Total
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00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
00 ♂
000 ♂
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00 ♀
00 ♀
00 ♀
00 ♀
00 ♀
00 ♀
00 ♀
00 ♀
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00 ♀
00 ♀
000 ♀
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LET THEM KNOW WE
WONT BACK DOWN
a marvel/dc roleplay
P O K E R Face [Deadpool!]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Jul 30, 2012 23:14:06 GMT -5
Weird sounds started coming from the other room, but he was just staring silently at the bacon as it browned perfectly, making sure the eggs were just right, and he turned around and there she was except now wearing the playboy outfit instead of naked and besides that, yelling at him. Okay well the playboy outfit was hot and it seemed like she was freaking about the night, not about him. He was worried, mostly, that she'd think he raped her or something and, well, she seemed like that was the least of her worries. Her screaming made him yell.
"AAAAAAAAH SHUTTUP STOP YELLING CALM DOWN SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!" he passed half of the eggs and bacon to her.
He had forgotten completely about the tiger. So it had his finger, huh? Bastard...
Wait so.. The tiger was in the apartment. How. The fuck...
He shook his head. Calm time. Calm time.
Rubbed his temples and sat down with his breakfast across from her.
"Okay, so from what I can gather... We got a tiger and went to the beach. We got married. We want to a fireworks display. And we came back here and..." he looked around the apartment, trying to skirt around the issue, "and we uh...." he wondered how it had felt. Damn, to think now he would probably never get to experience it sober with her... "I think we had sex. A lot of sex. In the bathroom, on the couch, in the kitchen, against the window, and on the bed." he looked down. His dick was sore, actually. What a beating it must have taken.
He ate some eggs. "Your clothes. I have no clue. Mine are all in the bathtub,soaking wet. Yours are probably back in your room, I'd guess..." he looked over her new choice of outfit. Did show off her thighs, hot damn. "Though I don't object, I have to wonder where you got that outfit."
Tiger, now that was a confusing one. But he was Deadpool, dammit, he could find a solution. "The finger will eventually grow back. So the hard part is... Getting the tiger back to the zoo." he could teleport it, if he knew where his suit was. No, they might just have to sneak it back in. Oh boy.
And the last bit. "We can get a divorce..." he thought of what insane things they must have done. She helped him win a good sum of money. She was hot. She was funny and smart and nice to be around. And she wasn't freaking out about... Him. "I mean, if you want to." of course shed want to. He wanted to, too.
He just finished his eggs when suddenly the door holding back the tiger bickered, splintered, and fell off its hinges. "OOOOOIH SHIT THE JUNGLE CAT IS ON THE LOOSE," he yelled, and started chasing after it.
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Tits Barbie
I Pledge Allegiance
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Post by Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington on Aug 1, 2012 4:49:57 GMT -5
He started yelling back and the sound automatically got her to snap her mouth shut. Her bottom lip slipped out in something that looked suspiciously like a pout when she realized that panicking ans generally screaming her head off wasn't going to get her anywhere and that she needed to stop freaking out and act like the top notch SHIELD agent that she was. In other words, calm and level headed, just as soon as she stopped pouting.....not that she was of course. Twenty eight years old was too old to be pouting, "Don't you yell at me," Danii said weakly, wilting a little because she had just been reprimanded like a five year old. Slipping into the seat she quietly nibbled on a slice of bacon and listened to what amounted to one hell of a night in Vegas, "Elvis, by the way, I'm pretty sure it was Elvis that married us," Why she felt the need to throw that little fact in there, she wasn't sure, it wasn't like it mattered who had presided over their drunken union right? Maybe it was because it just seemed to fit with everything else. So they had apparently, Danii had figured as much given how generally sore she still was, but that didn't stop a blush from staining her cheeks, "Ah, well......can't say I've ever done it against a window before," She tried to make light of the whole issue, because if she didn't she was possibly going to scream again. At least she was on the pill, because even though she may as well have been a nun for the past year now, she wasn't completely mad, there was that at least. She tried the eggs, wanting to focus on something else now, "Hey, these are pretty good," A soft sigh left the blonde, "That was my favorite dress, and I think figurin' out where I got the bunny outfit is pretty low on the totem pole of shit we have to work through today," Danii let her head rest on her hand, what kind of shenanigans had they gotten into exactly? There was just so much damage control to do now, how could two people get into that much trouble in one night? Just keep calm and carry on. Panic wasn't going to get her anywhere and she'd had probably done enough stupid shit last night to last her a decade at least, "The tiger, any ideas? We should get'em back first," Top priority was getting the big, endangered, protected cat that they had stolen back to where it belonged. "We have to," There was no want, it was necessary, "I never really thought I'd get married, but I never wanted it to be a drunken affair that I couldn't remember in the morning, with a groom who lost a thumb to a tiger somewhere in the course of the night, that just...........that just sounds ridiculous. No one is supposed to lose a thumb on a wedding night," She shook her head, a momentary note of sorrow in her tone, "My dad would kill me if he found out. Actually no, Fury would kill me for marrying a merc and my father would destroy me out of existence just because of the circumstances, like, I would cease to exist in the face of that anger and disappointment," She hated disappointing that old man, he was the only parent she ever had after all, and her job was her life. She thought the fact that it was a rash, drunken decision also went without saying. Wade was a good guy, and she liked him, but marriage was a whole different ball game. That was something you did after you knew someone so long you learned their little quirks and mannerism, how they liked their coffee and what made them laugh, "And there's.....," There was the fact that she had been holding a torch for Captain America for as long as she could remember, could two people really occupy a spot as particularly closely guarded as someones heart? Danii was trying to find the way to say it right when she heard the bang and nearly hit the ceiling when she jumped. Fucking cat, fuck fuck fuck. The blonde went running after the man, caught the tiger going for something on the ground and......was that an baseball actually signed by Babe Ruth? HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SIGNED BY BABE RUTH. She tackled the tiger. Without thinking about it, she ran at the creature with her shoulder into it, knocked them both off their feet and she rolled momentarily before recovering, pulling her legs up under her into a crotch as she watched the tiger shake himself off and get back up, "Wade, please tell me you have some sort of tranquilizer or something........or are we going to have to knock out a tiger?" Because there was a fine line between knocking a creature out and accidentally causing head trauma and killing it. The tiger made a run for her, so Danii did what anyone that had regained their senses did, she bolted for the bathroom, prepared to trap him in there if she had to. God it was going to be a long day. [/div][/style][/td][/tr][/table] [/center]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Aug 2, 2012 3:09:37 GMT -5
The whole comment about marrying the merc kinda got to him as he was running after the tiger. She was impressive in her ability to fend it off... sexy.
But really, would her father be that disappointed if she married Wade? He was a really nice guy and... and... really, he'd be so disappointed? Fury, too? And it was all just because no one bothered to get to know him, so they would disapprove so much of him, and she could never get married so what was the... oh wait, right. He didn't want to be married right now, either. And it was probably the circumstances around the marriage, rather than who she got married to.
Besides, at least they waited until marriage for sex! Ah, ahahahah... hah. Eh.
No, he didn't have a goddamn tranq stored up his ass. His underwear were all he knew. His bag was with his armor, and he didn't know where that was. Maybe he had a tranq in the bathroom, maybe in the bedside table. Bedside table! He ran for it, looked in. No. Okay, bathroom.
He bolted for it, and slid into it just in time to close the door.
And. Uh.
Just him and Danii in there. When had she gotten in? Hmmph.
He looked around at the two obvious markings of where they'd had sex again, and tried to ignore them. Medicine cabinet nearby. He opened the door. Ooh... the vaseline tin was left open. Lube? For...
...really? Nasty. Kinky, kind of. Anyway, there was one tranq dart. An emergency. Oh thank goodness. It was.
"Okay, well. What I'm going to need you to do is open the door when I say so," he said, listening to the heavy pounding.
"I'll jump and smack this tranq on his jugular so he'll go down pretty quick. So... on three."
He looked at her again. God she was sexy, she knew how to move, even, in just that right way, and for a girl she was tall. Those legs just looked like they went on forever, and she looked flexible, and strong. Like she could really wrap her legs around him easily and he could feel them and move with them, and... okay. Tiger. Focus.
"One."
So sexy... especially in that playboy bunny outfit...
"Two."
He took his shot, so this could be pretty damn damaging if he missed.
"Three."
No time like the present.
He lunged out for the beast's jugular with the tranquilizer dart.
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Tits Barbie
I Pledge Allegiance
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Post by Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington on Aug 3, 2012 8:15:35 GMT -5
The big jungle cat seemed more then a little angry that she had slammed into it, and Danii managed to escape a swipe of its claws with just bare inches to spare. Hell, she was sure that she had felt the claws swipe the tip of the little cotton tail on her ass, that sort of sparred a bigger rush of adrenaline as she tried to stay a step ahead of the tiger. It was amazing what the body could do when it was in danger of being mauled by a six hundred and some odd pound angry tiger. She basically hurdled over the couch and led the cat around while Wade went searching for something to bring the tiger down with. Another swipe and she squeaked because that one really did ruffle the tail and she felt it. Too close, much too close, this time she really did make a run for the bathroom, slipping in a moment before Wade did and yelping with pain because the fucking light was on, "Fuck ow!" Her hands automatically went to cover her eyes as she backed up against the bathroom door, entire body shaking with how hard the tiger was slamming into the door to get at them. She could hear Wade rummaging through something and carefully cracked an eye open to look at him, barely able to see anything. It was like having someone reflect light off a mirror and into someones eyes, she could barely make out the shapes around her, but had no hope of capturing any real details. Rubbing at her eyes Danii nodded, dolefully noting that she could feel the bunny ears on top of her head bouncing with the movement, "Yeah alright, just be careful," The blonde wasn't sure why she had even said that, if his file wasn't just a typo then he really couldn't die, but being mauled by a tiger really didn't seem like any fun. Hand on the doorknob and eye still cracked open just enough see should could see something, Danii nearly ripped the door off it's hinges at three, she pulled it open so fast and so hard. The blonde cringed at the sounds of what could only be described as very angry fuckin' tiger. When it died down, she flicked the light off so she could actually see, and stepped out of the bathroom. "Ya alright?"Danii asked gently resting a hand on his shoulder while quickly looking him over and still trying to blink off the shock from the light, spots of color were still dancing around her vision, "Sorry," She didn't really have the chance to make sure he was alright, "I really have to find my damn sunglasses," The blonde was already striding back over to the bed, looking in the bedside table, she found a box for some edible underwear but that was about it. Best not to think on that too much. So she moved her search to under the bed, kneeling down to look under and stretching to reach something. She pulled out a pair of glasses, but they definitely weren't hers, they looked more like something Elvis would wear. Whatever, at this point she shouldn't have been surprised by whatever she found that tied into the night before, so she slipped them on and opened the blinds so Wade could see better, "Alright, gotta get this big lug back to the zoo," She was talking more to herself, "Need to change my damn cloths, do my fuckin' job, and at some point, get a divorce," She was pacing the room, going through the damage control list. Funny, getting divorced was so far down on the totem pole of things that needed to be fixed asap, she had almost forgotten to mention it, "First thing's first, giant fuckin' cat, any ideas? I mean, sneaking it back into the zoo isn't totally impossible, but it'll be one hell of a production," Danii nudged the cat as she thought. [/div][/style][/td][/tr][/table] [/center]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Aug 4, 2012 0:57:20 GMT -5
It had gone off mainly without a hitch, other than the three scratches on his shoulder. Not too deep, but long. It had lost its strength by the time its arm got around him. He watched the tiger start to breathe slower as Danii searched around the room for glasses, stretching at some point, damn she was flexible. And he didn't realize how tall she was, too... most girls were much shorter than him, and she almost came up to his eyes. Eye level if she wore two-inch heels.
Hum.
She was right. Cat was the biggest priority.. well... kind of. Actually, the tranquilizer lasted pretty long. Finding clothes was a big priority. He stared at her in his boxers. "I think findin' clothes should be priority number one. If I find my suit, gettin' the tiger back will be a piece of cake. Then you do your job and I'll do mine, and... uh... we get divorced... and then... never speak of all this again? Just tell everyone it was a real simple job?" He smiled goofishly.
Clothes. He needed his suit... His plainclothes were soaking in the bathroom. He could always put them out to dry on the bay windows... Oh yeah, good idea. He took a t-shirt, jeans, and socks, and hung them on the curtain rail. His shoes were actually in the fridge, which was..
..okay?
Drying these would take a while. Good idea time...
He got another shirt and shorts out and hung them up on the rack next to his. "Um... it may take an hour to dry these. Or we could walk around in what we have on. For me, I think I'd be arrested. You, every guy that sees you is gonna grab your ass." He shrugged.
If they waited for the drying, they could have a nice chat about what they felt about what happened, followed by loads of illegal mysterious fun. If not, they could have loads of illegal mysterious fun and get raped and arrested along the way.
...quite a hard choice.
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Tits Barbie
I Pledge Allegiance
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Post by Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington on Aug 5, 2012 16:19:11 GMT -5
"As long as that tranq holds out," She scrubbed her face tiredly, still pacing the room, how did she manage to let herself get this far up shits creak without a paddle? Danii didn't do these kinds of things, work was her life, she was a professional, she had been raised to be a professional and professionals didn't go off the grid completely and get blackout drunk, steal tigers, then get married and oh god she was turning into Britney fuckin' Spears. Next thing she was going to be dating some jagoff with permanent scruff who didn't own a shirt with sleeves and completely shaving her head. No, no no no that wasn't going to happen because they were going to fix this and never ever speak of it again, "Alright, as it stands right now, that's going to be the shorthand version of the plan," She had a reputation to uphold, the blonde was supposed to be the good girl that was always on the straight and narrow and deviated just the slightest bit to have some fun. Just enough that she could get away with it when she smiled and batted her lashes. This, this was going to take a lot more then that to fix, like hold on to your ass and hope something else doesn't go wrong type of more. "You would get arrested, ripped abs or not," That just came out without meaning to, go ahead and pretend that you weren't just staring from behind your sunglasses without having realized it, "As for me? First guy that touches me gets every bone in that hand broken," And Danii meant it, because she was definitely not in the mood to deal with that sort of thing, "But you have a point," With a deep, long suffering sigh she sat down on the couch, head falling back for a moment as she stared at the ceiling in mild disbelief, "So......we stole a tiger, we were totally plastered apparently........ but managed to steal a tiger from the zoo, that......that has to take some sort of talent," If she didn't make even the slightest bit of light of the situation she was going to scream again. Deep breath, stretch, her back cracked when she arched and god she could feel the muscles tangling themselves into knots already, "We got married, why would we even get married?" At what point did that sound like a good idea and for that matter whose idea was it? Note to self, never drink that much again, "Danielle Christine Wilson, at least you don't have one of those weird last names like Hamm or Figgalapola," She was mumbling more to herself, trying to find the little silver lining. Because that was technically her legal name at the moment. Looking down she caught sight of the bills still scattered around the floor, she was sure she was sitting on one as it was, "Should probably do something about all the money, can't leave it laying around everywhere," As if to punctuate the sentence she reached down and pulled a Benjamin out from under her, where the hell had it all come from to begin with? [/div][/style][/td][/tr][/table] [/center]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Aug 5, 2012 16:44:09 GMT -5
Ripped abs? Hmmm... well, he did have ripped abs. And those obliques, the Man Line as some girls referred to him, the deep crease dug into the line going down from his waist to his, well... y'know. Anyway, she was right, female cops wouldn't stand for it. They were usually butch anyway.
So it looked like she kept listing off the crazy shit that happened. Tiger and marriage were the big two. The tiger, well, he was a big problem. Mostly 'cause he was about two times as heavy as both Danii and him put together. And hey, I mean, Danii isn't heavy or anything, but she was six feet tall, muscular, and had a body that he'd describe as anything but "thin." Voluptuous, fit, curvy, and fuckin' perfect would be better phrases. Anyway...
As she was musing about her new name and the money, he'd moved about halfway between the couch and the bay windows, and was looking out, wondering how they'd even make it to the zoo on foot. It was a long distance... it had seemed so short before. Hmmph. He needed to find his damn teleport suit, that's what he really needed.
She pulled a benjamin out from under the curves of her butt right as a low flitting sound started making its way into his ear. He furrowed his brows and looked at the window. The... f....
The flitting got louder and louder, and a helicopter rose into the frame of his bay windows. Holy hell. Why? It got a little closer and he could see who was in it. A familiar dark-skinned man with a nice white suit, reflective sunglasses, a goatee and a scar running down his cheek. Oh, and an uzi OH GOD HE WAS FIGUERRO.
"SAY HELLO TO MAH LITTLE--" Figuerro shouted.
"Oh fuck this," Wade muttered and started running for the window.
"FRAAAAND!" He finished and started up the uzi. Bullets shattered the window so Wade didn't have to, as he jumped through shards of glass and grabbed on to the bottom of the helicopter, dangling over 100 stories of air. He pulled himself up on board, grabbing the man's foot. Figuerro stopped shooting and looked down in surprise. Wade didn't notice the bullet lodged in his shoulder.
"HEY FUCK YOU, GUY!" Wade shouted, and pulled himself up by the man's leg. Figuerro held on to a bar to stabilize himself and stop from falling off. He aimed the uzi down Wade's throat. "Suck my cock," he replied, and pulled the uzi with his free hand to his side. A few bullets went whizzing past, straight down into the ground, shattering a window or two much lower in the hotel. A few bullets hit his arm, tearing it up further. NO FEAR HATH DEADPOOL!
As he pulled up and into the helicopter, his boxers caught on the side and ripped off. He was bare naked now. He found--who would have guessed--his suit on board! Bastard must have stolen it last night... Anyway, he kicked Figuerro onto the floor, standing with one foot on his chest, and socked the pilot in the f
wait what
he socked the pilot in the face, knocking him out cold. "MY BRAIN!" Deadpool shouted, "YOU HAVE FAILED ME AGAIN!" as the helicopter swayed from side to side and finally crashed... into his room. He and Figuerro tumbled out the side and onto the carpet, as the helicopter bumped off and spiraled down, down, down, shattering a few windows with its blades and finally culminating in a massive explosion at the ground on the side of the hotel casino.
Well. He lay on the floor, covered in bits of glass, a bullet hole in the shoulder, and butt naked. But he'd found his suit and he'd found Figuerro. He looked up at Danii desparately. "In the bag... syringe... says emergency regen serum... jab it in my heart like an adrenaline shot..." and faded from consciousness.
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Tits Barbie
I Pledge Allegiance
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Post by Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington on Aug 6, 2012 14:31:25 GMT -5
That sound. She didn't want to turn around and see where that sound was coming from because she knew that sound very well and the look on his face was more then enough of an indicator to tell her that something pretty goddamn ridiculous was about to go down. Danii bit her lip again, head falling back for a moment, "This, this is just going to keep getting worse isn't it?" No matter how much she tried not to pay attention, it didn't mean that whatever shit that was about to hit the fan was going to disappear. So Danii sucked it up and looked over, yes that was a helicopter, yes that was one very pissed off looking Mexican and was that an Uzi? Yes, yes it was. Because anything else would have been uncivilized. And she didn't have a damn thing on her. Not a gun, not even a knife, so she hit the deck the moment the glass shattered, looking up long enough to watch Wade running towards them holy christ the man was insane. It wasn't very often that Danii didn't know what to do, this was definitely one of those moments though as she was not into the idea of jumping out of a window today. Not that it mattered as a moment later there was a helicopter swerving dangerously close to the window and oh....shit.......there it went. Yes she knew very well what was going to happen next because today could only get worse from here so the blonde moved quickly to try and get the hell out of the way. The resounding wreck was enough to knock her on her ass and she had to take the second to go ahead and kiss her ass goodbye because when Fury heard of this, which he no doubt would, he was going to rip her to shreds. The amount of paperwork would no doubt give her carpel tunnel and damn it never did cease to amaze her how her mind would focus on the little things like that to avoid dropping off the ledge of sanity at something like a helicopter crashing into a building. All of this crossed her mind in the span of seconds, shooting up off the ground and running towards were the pair had come tumbling to the floor. Figuerro groaned, and Danii leaned over and punched him across the face hard enough to knock out a tooth because she really didn't need him to be conscious right now. Looking down at Wade, the woman was trying her hardest to look down at his naked bits, because now was really not the time to be paying attention to a guys junk and she was pretty much on the verge of panic as it was even if she was trying her best to not let it show, "Wait you mean like in Pulp Fiction?!" Shit, too late, he was under. Shit, shitshitshit, the blonde reached into the bag and holy christ where the hell was it? Groping around Danii felt her fingers curl around something that felt like a syringe, pulled it out, ok that should have been it, yesyesyes it was. Stuck the needle in the syringe, and unceremoniously jabbed it into his chest like he was an OD'ing bitch, depressing the plunger as she did so, "Alright, alright there, you.........fuuuck whatever," Danii didn't even know what she was talking about any more by this point. There was the drug lord that she had been after, right there sprawled out on the floor and now not only priority number fucking one but top of her shit list after all of this. And oh, top of the girls shit list was not a place anyone wanted to be. Growling darkly Danii stepped through the wreck of the suite, grabbed a few sheets off the bed and ripped them into strips and hauled the unconscious cartel member up like a sack of bricks, dragging him to the bathroom, "Son of a bitch wants to make Scarface references, lucky I don't have a fuckin' chainsaw," Danii was cursing to herself, tying the man up to the rail in the shower before coming back out to grab a few sharp objects and some salt from the kitchen. This was not a part of the job she enjoyed, but it was something she was going to have to do and asap at that, before all the police showed up, "S'cuse me," And with that she walked back into the bathroom and shut the door, face totally devoid of emotion as she did so. [/div][/style][/td][/tr][/table] [/center]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Aug 8, 2012 19:59:28 GMT -5
'Scuse me.
That's all he heard as he came back to life. And then he watched some fantastic, I mean truly fantastic ass disappear behind the bathroom door. Shut and locked. Huh.
Well that left him without anything to do, huh? Where'd the Mexican go?
He looked over at the bay windows. Totally shattered. His body felt funny. He looked down. OH FUCK, syringe was still stuck in him, and he ripped it out, and then OH FUCK that was his heart still attached to it.
His heart. Was stuck to the syringe. "AAAAAH!" he screamed, and threw it out the window. Oh wait, should he have done that? That'd be really awkward if someone found a heart lyin' around. Wade got up and walked to the window, looking over the edge and down to the... oh yeah. Helicopter wreckage. Media was swarming. He was standing in a giant bay window, completely nude, a hole in his chest, and starting to mutate. Bad idea. He got back inside before he saw any camera flashes.
Well, good news, his heart was already growing back, and the glass was being forced out of his body by new tissue. It kind of tickled, because his nervous system was thankfully always the last to grow back. Oh hey, his thumb was back! He'd missed that little bugger. He sat for a while and when he felt like most things were gone already, he put on his suit.
Ah, fit wonderfully. He switched a few buttons and stretched his fingers.
Did he hear screaming? Was that her screaming or his screaming? Oh, his screaming. She was torturing him. Holy fuck. What a badass. But then again, how scary. He didn't know what to do, maybe the...
...the tiger.
It was waking up. Its eye flitted open and it started to purr.
He had to recall the significant location of the zoo. What was it, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckitty tits, OH YEAH now he remembered.
"I'ma takin' you back, bitch!" he yelled, straddled the cat, and teleported out, landing in its cage in the zoo. Surrounded by other big cats. Fuck. He jumped off and grabbed on to the bars, kept scaling until he got on the top of the cage and was hanging off, and tried flippin' the buttons back on his suit.
"Hey mommy, look, there's a red man in the tiger cage!"
That was all he needed to hear. He gave a nice smile and wave as his body dematerialized and reappeared in a puff of chaos, back in his presidential suite.
Ha, well, that was... somethin'.
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Tits Barbie
I Pledge Allegiance
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Post by Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington on Aug 10, 2012 21:14:02 GMT -5
Danii locked the door behind her, a grimace on her face as she looked the unconscious man over. She didn't really want to do this, but any means necessary meant exactly that. The blonde couldn't stall on this either, definitely didn't have the time to try and do this the nice way. Putting the objects she had gathered from the kitchen down on the sink, she slapped the man awake without a second thought, glaring from behind her Elvis style sunglasses, "You definitely fucked with the wrong people today," It came out a hiss, much more then just a little angry at the moment. "Mira cabronsita, cuando salga de aquí voy a arruinar esa cara bonita tuya," Because she had never heard that one before, Danii rolled her eyes and slapped him again, brushing off the look of indignation she received in return, "Vas a decirme lo que quiero saber, o no va a terminar bien," The threat hung in the air, while Figuerro looked defiant now, his face fell the moment she flicked the lights off. Suddenly, he was talking a lot of shit, trying to calm her down, trying to talk his way out of whatever was going to happen next. She slipped off the sunglasses, a grim frown on her face, a deep, quiet exhale, her hands were shaking. This wasn't the first time, it wouldn't be the last, but Danii had to remind herself just who this man was, and how this was for the greater good. Fury had said any means necessary, that had been the green light, "Do yourself a favor and tell me about Mexico City," She had grabbed a little washcloth off a rack before picking up one of the knives she had brought with her, trailing the tip of the blade along the exposed skin of the mans are with just enough pressure that he'd be able to feel it, since he couldn't see it. Danii imagined the not knowing, the inability to see was what was really getting to him, he was still acting defiant, but the timber in his voice was the tip off. She cut him. "Figuerro, start talking now or it gets worse," He was scrambling now, trying to buy her off, trying to play stupid and then he was screaming when she stabbed a knife into him, careful to miss any organs or major arteries. She closed her eyes, asked again, this time he was cursing her, "Wrong answer," Another. And so it went, when she ran out Danii started twisting them slightly, retreating into the back of her mind to block out the screaming. He broke pretty quickly after that, couldn't talk fast enough as a matter of fact. They had been buying contraband weapons from an American supplier for the attack, the drugs they were slinging were coming from deep in the heart of Michoacán, just west of Mexico City. It was supposed to go down in six days. She had names, she had dates, Danii had what she needed and thank God for that because she wasn't sure she could keep it up much longer before her nerves gave out, "Gracias," She slipped her sunglasses back on and turned on the light, walking out without turning to look at the man that she had turned into a pin cushion. The look on her face was totally unreadable, just utterly blank as she turned to look at Wade, "Go ahead and do what ya gotta do, asap," She could hear the crowds outside, a chorus of sirens surrounding the hotel, "Need to get back to my hotel, then we need a divorce," Danii wasn't sure if he was even paying attention, she was just running it over once again. Looking around the destroyed room she grabbed the marriage certificate and the autographed baseball, more then ready to leave. [/div][/style][/td][/tr][/table] [/center]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Aug 10, 2012 23:41:45 GMT -5
Finally she came out. He got up and went over to her... she looked like she'd just seen a ghost. He'd heard the screams of pain and he wondered what, exactly, she'd done. He was at once terrified and impressed.
A groan came from inside the bathroom, and then he heard what she said. Back to her hotel. Divorce. There was no emotion left in her... she was nulled. "Just stay around for a second and I'll teleport you there," he asked. He didn't know why. It'd be easier for him if she just left. But for some reason... He wanted her to be there after he killed this guy.
He closed and locked the door, then turned on the lights. The poor man, white suit stained blood red, stared up at him with fear in his eyes. Wade took off his mask and the fear grew worse. "Hiya, you're Figuerro, huh? I guess you understand some English. I know Spanish and all but this way's more fun." He pulled out a boombox stereo and put on "Stuck in the Middle with You." He was a Tarantino fan, okay?
A cigar was lit, and he placed it in between his scarred lips, then pulled out a hammer from his bag. "So, I'd like some information from you, but I'm not as nice as she is. Let me tell ya somethin', pal. You're gonna die at the end of this interview. But I'm givin' you a chance to redeem yourself. Tell me every bad thing you've ever done. I'm your priest, bitch, and you're about to meet God. You're a good Catholic right? Well, funny that, I don't really believe in that holy bastard. God's the name of my third-favorite doorknob." He pulled a sawed-off shotgun out and set it on the sidetable, grinning an evil grin. "Alrighty, start confessin'."
The man started spouting off a spiel about how he'd gotten his start in the gang, how he grew up and had a chance to leave but he decided to stay, eventually became its leader by killin' some fellas, got the facial scar in a particularly nasty fight--actually, funny that. He killed his own father and mother, with a knife. His sister convinced him to stand down only to try to end him in a fit of rage, and he--well that's where Wade stopped feelin' sympathy, givin' that the guy ended up raping his own sister, tied her up, brought her back to his gang, let them have their way with her, before torturing her and killing her by ripping her eyes out with his own hands.
Yeah, this Figuerro guy was evil as fuck.
So he kept on about his sins as a drug lord, all the kids he'd sold to, all the people he'd killed, all the deals he'd made, begging for forgiveness, please Deadpool don't kill me. And then the hammer came and bang bang bang, Deadpool broke his fingers one by one. He started crying. Deadpool started laughing. He got him out of the chair and pushed him against the wall, splaying his arms out, putting him up like Jesus on the cross and oh god he was being so sacrilegious right now. And the man kept screaming out his sins.
Finally the guy was in his proper pose, crying like Niagara Falls, and Mr. Hammer went to his balls again and again until there was nothin' left, the guy couldn't even cry anymore, he could only wail in pain. Wade's suit was soaked with blood. "SHUT UP!" he screamed at the man. Figuerro kept wailing in pain, Wade started cackling louder, "I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH!" Figuerro stopped, panting breathlessly, and stared into Wade's eyes, with a look that chilled him to the bone. Then he let out a bloodcurdling scream.
Wade pulled up the shotgun to the man's mouth and cocked it.
"Ding dong, open up your pearly gates."
Figuerro screamed into the barrel.
And then his head sorta disappeared in the red spray.
Deadpool kicked the stereo and it stopped. It had changed to "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen, and was in the middle of a guitar solo. Suddenly silence.
Who had paid him to do this? Some kid from Mexico who grew up into a politician. He was a clean guy and wanted to get the drugs out of his country... but couldn't figure out a way to do it clean. Figuerro had killed his uncle, so, well... he told Wade to make the death as nasty as possible, and as public as possible. He told him he wanted to make this guy an example to the other drug lords. He told him he'd get bonus pay if it made international news.
So the religious imagery? Not an attack against any group, not any subtext, just an attempt at fame. He walked out of the bathroom and looked at Danii. "Had to do it. Let's... get the hell out of here."
He held her hand and pressed a few buttons in his suit, dematerializing as the hotel room door splintered apart with a policeman's axe.
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Tits Barbie
I Pledge Allegiance
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Post by Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington on Aug 13, 2012 2:16:36 GMT -5
The blonde was trying to think about anything but what was going on in the bathroom, she could hear it, and it was making her sick. Did she really have to be here for this? Danii felt like this was some sort of strange karma coming back to plant a seed for some new nightmares in her mind, it was uncomfortable and she didn't know why she didn't just leave right now. It seemed like it would be much easier that way, looking around the destroyed suite again to make sure she hadn't missed anything, oh, at least the smallest stroke of luck, there was her dress. It had a rip in the middle, but she changed quickly either way, happy to be out of the blood stained playboy bunny outfit. Where had that music come from? It made her cringe, too disturbed with everything in general to make the connection, not that she really wanted to by this point. Sitting down on the couch because she didn't know what to do with herself Danii was trying desperately to block out the sounds, fidgeting where she sat and reciting the words to the Star Spangled Banner in her mind to no avail, she could hear everything. Figuerro was a piece of shit, he deserved everything that came to him, but the screaming had her skin crawling and she was thinking she should have just killed him herself while she had been in there, but he deserved all of this, she just wished she didn't have to hear it. Danii wanted noting more then to turn and run, just disappear out the door and never come face to face with Wade Wilson ever again. It was his job, but was all that really necessary? And she couldn't say anything, because in her mind she wasn't much better, if she didn't know that it was his job to kill the man, she would have done it herself, albeit quickly and quietly. The shotgun blast made her twitch, she could hear the panic from the people on the street below over the sirens and general disarray. One last time she made sure she had anything important, the marriage certificate because it had their names out, the baseball because it was signed by Babe fuckin' Ruth. He came out, and she wasn't even sure she could stand to look at him much less touch him after all of that, the sudden thought that she was actually technically married to this guy at the moment was deeply disturbing for a second. Danii should have just left before he came out. Frowning, she nodded either way, "He deserved it," But it still made her skin crawl, she took the hand either way and thank god they were gone before anyone got in, at least there was that, because there was no way to explain the very very dead man in the bathroom. So that was definitely a new experience, and she had to take a moment to get over the fact that she wasn't standing anywhere near the place that they had been literally a moment ago. What she realize though, was that she was still touching him and let go rather quickly, she tried to play it off with looking around, alright her hotel room. Immediately she pulled a pair of daisy dukes from the small bag she had brought with her, slipped them on under her dress and turned so her back was facing Wade, pulled her dress off and threw on an old Def Leppard shirt, stuffed her dress in the bag, pulled on a pair of old American flag converse. Easing her .45 Smith and Wesson behind her, Danii felt ten times better just for having the comforting weight of the steel against the small of her back. Finally she turned to look at the man, grabbing her bag as she did so and tossing it over her shoulder, "Let's go get divorced, and don't worry, I wont take you for half your saving and your soul," It was a weak joke, the wariness in her voice was testament to that and there was a hesitation to actually touch him. She could still here the screaming, and it was still wearing her down, Danii didn't want to think about it, wanted to get this done and over with, she had grabbed her stuff because as soon as they were divorced the woman planned on getting the hell out of the city, screw even taking the time to check out, she just wanted to be gone. [/div][/style][/td][/tr][/table] [/center]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Aug 14, 2012 2:30:48 GMT -5
They appeared and she immediately changed to get ready to go. The blood hadn't teleported with the suit--it was kinda magic like that--so his suit was clean and all, but he still didn't feel okay. He did see how damn nice her body looked even from behind, boobs slightly wider than her torso as she put her other clothes on, so he saw a bit--why was he even bothering? Why was SHE even bothering? He'd seen her naked sober, and he'd had massive amounts of sex with her while blackout drunk. In his mind there wasn't really a need for modesty at this point, but then his mind turned towards what had just happened.
When he killed these victims he got a certain amount of dread, always. But he slipped into a sort of character that he adjusted for each hit--this time, madman, of course. Other times, a stealthy ninja, silent killer, cold stone intimidator... It was contextual.
But his mind wandered to what he'd done. She was halfway to the door and he slumped forward and fell to his knees, his hands trailing uselessly in front of his body. He was suddenly overpowered, useless...
"I can't... do it. I can't stand it any more. I hate doing that... I, I hate killing, but killing's the only thing I can do, and, and killing this guy is justified, right? Because I'm supposed to do it all public and awful-like so all the criminals know... fuckin' Deadpool will terribly torture and murder their shitty lives away, and through that fear they stay down. But maybe, maybe I don't fuckin' want that reputation. I don't want to be a bad guy, but I'm such a convenient bad guy, ain't I? Normal people fear me, but just because of my method. Drug lords and such fear me 'cause of the product."
He was babbling about, trying to justify it to himself, not seeing anything around him, completely in his own head now. The killing, and the killing, and the man crucified in his hotel room.
"I just can't do it anymore, I mean I ain't perfect but this is just too much, too far. He deserved it but, but, I still felt remorse. I still feel awful. Do--do you think.... that the comfort of knowing I saved thousands can overpower this cutting depression I get from killing?"
He looked up violently, gritting his teeth.
"Well it fuckin' doesn't. But hell, it's the only thing I know how to do. The only thing I can do for the common good is be a psycho killer antihero. That's how they fuckin' raised me in the pool, that's the only damn thing they made me for, the reason I survived that cancer. To fuckin' kill without thought, without remorse. I can't lead a goddamn normal life 'cause of this fuckin' power, tumors in my brain, and it hurts, dammit, it hurts."
He slowly, slowly stood up, one knee at a time, and stared blankly ahead, vaguely in her direction.
"But maybe I like the pain. Maybe I'm accustomed to it."
He didn't know why he'd suddenly started spouting off some of his greatest self-doubt, but maybe he'd been speaking so fast that she couldn't tell what he said. As he looked back on his paragraphs, it felt like time had compressed what he said into a simple quantum of sound, a short little blip of vowels and consonants combined that echoed within his skull, bouncing in his brain and turning it to mush like so many bullets.
He shook it off. ...Divorce. Right.
Breakdowns like this usually happened in private after a killing.
H'awkwaarrrrddd...
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Tits Barbie
I Pledge Allegiance
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Post by Danii "LadyLiberty" Washington on Aug 16, 2012 8:58:40 GMT -5
Danii had been heading for the door, more then ready to just get this over and done with when he started, well.....not so much talking as raving she supposed. Her eyes widened from behind the sunglasses, stopping short in her movements and it was very hard to keep her mouth from just falling open at all of that. The blonde was having trouble keeping up with all of that, he was stringing words together at an impressive rate to be completely honest, and it was just all so crammed together at a breathless rate that she was amazed he could get all of that out in such little time. It took a moment of frowning silence for her to even try and work through all of that. Admittedly, everyone always made him out to sound like a pretty damn cold blooded psychopath that didn't bat an eye at the thought of killing someone, and Danii really hadn't expected...........well she really hadn't expected anything that she got from the man, except that he did have a few screws loose. Looks like she had been quite wrong about him too, it made her frown worse, even as she tried vainly to keep up with the babbling. Danii sighed, feeling rather bad about everything that she had been thinking in the span of time between him stepping into the bathroom with Figuerro and now. She had no idea how to react at the moment though, because that was the even more unexpected then an angry cartel boss in a helicopter. The blonde bit her lip, like she was thinking on something rather important for a moment before she turned to look at him, really look at him for a second. And then with a few quick steps she had closed the distance between them, arms slipping around his neck to pull him into a tight hug. Danii had to take a deep breath, her heart was hammering against her chest because she was sure this was a terrible idea and where the hell had the impulse even come from? He probably didn't even want to be touched right now, let alone hugged, but she stood there for a moment longer, quiet and still and just hugged him. "I ain't gonna ask if your alright now, cause it's pretty obvious that you're not, but we've all got our demons eatin' at us, it's just that some of us have them worse then others," Sighing Danii gave him a little pat, "There's always room to try and better yourself ya know, but that's the hardest route a person can take," Danii liked to think that given a chance, most people really could better themselves. She let go, stepping back and pushing the sunglasses farther up the bridge of her nose, very much prepared to put this particular conversation away and never speak of it again, because she was sure he wouldn't want anyone knowing about it. If there was one thing Danii had gotten good at over the years, it was pretending that certain things had never happened. It was the only way she managed to live with herself sometimes, and she had seen more then one person break during her time in the army, but after picking them back up, neither spoke a word of it again, she just figured this would be one of those times. So the woman adjusted her bag and turned on her heels, "Time to go, I think we've both gotta be there to sign the papers, also annulment would just be easier," It was easiest to go the route, not like they were after half of each others estate, "I think we can just get it annulled at the Chapel at least I hope so can't say I've ever done this before, from there, dunno about you, but I'm gettin' the hell outta this state," Just outside the door, she could hear people talking about a helicopter crash, and it made her frown even worse before she went on her merry way. [/div][/style][/td][/tr][/table] [/center]
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Suck it, Wolverine.
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Post by Wade "Deadpool" Wilson on Aug 19, 2012 1:12:27 GMT -5
She just came over and hugged him. And it was.... so strange, because it was exactly what he needed at that moment. He sort of fell into her. Damn that was rough. His mind started repairing itself from the self-inflicted shock already. And then she said just what he needed her to say. Some encouragement, no sugar-coating or worry, and just a perceptiveness that went beyond what most people had. Then she hadn't just freaked out when he'd had his mental attack, and he appreciated that...
So he watched her walk away, talking about divorce. He was standing upright now, and moving slowly towards the door, too. But he was starting to have his second thoughts. He wanted the annulment, definitely, but maybe he'd started to legitimately love her a little bit, a little more interest in her than the simple redblooded lust he usually felt.
A teleportation later and they were standing outside the annulment office of the Little White Chapel. No one was inside, which was alright, he supposed. He opened the door and walked in, noting a few things in the surroundings--wooden walls, carpeted floors, glass things stacked on shelves, no windows, ambient lighting instead of fluorescent. A pretty comfortable, albeit cramped, office.
The woman at the desk looked stern, raising an unappreciative brow at his attire.
"Hey. We'd like to get our marriage annulled, on grounds of lack of consent... due to intoxication. Also we're kinda superheroes, so if you could just formally tear up this certificate and let us go on..." he passed the certificate to the lady. How did these procedures even work? He had no clue.
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FORUM SKIN BY KATYA OF GANGNAM-STYLE
do not steal
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